Trudy Ludwig has been a guest author at Stafford due to a generous donation from PTSA.  Trudy Ludwig is a "Mommy on a Mission!"  She is an author of children's books and an advocate for healthy friendships.  Trudy has done extensive reading and research on bullying and realtional aggression and she isa powerful resource for our community.

Here is the information that we share with the students at Stafford School.  Please read this information and discuss it with your children.  It would be helpful to reinforce what your children learned at school today by asking questions.

Laura Barbour
Stafford School Counselor

The Secret's Out On Bullying

A touching, inspirational story targeted for 5- to 11-year-olds, My Secret Bully instantly draws young readers into Monica's world where she is bullied by a friend and learns how to cope and thrive. Relational aggression is an act of emotional bullying hidden among tightly knit networks of friends. Instead of using knives and fists to bully others, emotional bullies employ relationships, words, and gestures as their weapons of attack. Emotional bullying is often dismissed as a normal rite of passage, but research shows it is as harmful as physical aggression, with devastating, long-term effects.

Name-calling, humiliation, exclusion, and manipulation are some bullying tactics Monica's friend Katie employs. Monica learns to face her fears of betrayal and social isolation and reclaims her power from the bully with the help of a supportive adult - her mother. Included in this wonderful resource for children, parents, teachers, and counselors are helpful tips, discussion questions, and additional information.

WHAT IS BULLYING?

Bullying is defined as: negative actions carried out by physical contact, words, making faces, gestures, rumors or intentional exclusion.

FRIENDDSHIP EXPECTATIONS

*  We will not bully others.
*  We will help students who are being bullied.
*  We will include students who are left out.
*  If somebody is being bullied, we will tell and adult at school and an adult at home.


WHAT SHOULD I DO IF A FRIEND IS BULLYING ME?

If you are being bullied by a friend:

*  Walk away
*  Use a safe comback (Remeber the tools in your toolbelt!)
*  Talk to an adult you trust
*  Make new friends
*  Try new activities
*  Don't give your power away
*  Find safe places and kind people

If you see a friend being bullied:

*  If you feel safe, ask the person to stop
*  Support your friend
*  Tell an adult

If you are bullying your friends:

*  Give a sincere apology if welcomed and work to earn trust back
*  Talk to a trusted adult
*  Find positive and health outlets for your feelings
*  Learn to communicate assertively rather than aggressively
*  Develop your leadership skills
*  Engage in community service work

Here are the tools that Trudy Ludwig taught the children

What should I do if someone is teasing or bullying me?  

If someone is teasing or bullying you, try the following strategies.  If the problem gets bigger or you do not feel safe, please report the incident to a trusted adult immediately.

*  Ask, "Why?"
*  Turn an insult into a complicment, only if you feel safe.
*  Agree (ie: "Your right!  Thanks for noticing!"
*  Change the subject
*  Act silly or goofy.  Use humor in a harmless way.
*  In a neutral tone, say "So... Whatever... Who cares?"
*  Say "STOP!"  I don't like it when you..."
*  Walk away